Know When to Fold ’Em

We gain a lot of insight from song lyrics. A message currently resonating with me comes from “The Gambler.” I can hear Kenny Rogers in my head right now:

“You’ve got to know when to hold ’em,

Know when to fold ’em,

Know when to walk away,

Know when to run.”

No matter what our line of work, there comes a point when it’s time to “fold ’em,” or at least fold certain aspects of our career, and move on to the next chapter. This has been heavy on my mind lately, witnessing skier Lindsey Vonn’s attempt to repeat Olympic gold, Travis Kelce’s return to the NFL, and my own peer group of hard-charging lawyers hitting the half-century mark in our careers.

From a personal standpoint, I can attest that the pressures of law practice hit you differently in your 70’s than in your 20’s. As we gain crystallized intelligence, we become better at tasks requiring expertise and wisdom. However, certain high-stress aspects of our work are better suited for the younger set. To enjoy a long, fulfilling career into our senior years, we need to identify the tasks that no longer serve us well and offload those to the next generation. As we age, our focus is better directed at problem-solving, mentoring, and imparting wisdom learned from our past experiences.

One aspect of my work that I’ve eliminated is serving as an expert witness in lawsuits. The pressure of trial work is all-consuming. Others in my Texas Law Class of 1978 network have similar feelings about litigation. Bill Parrish speaks of the “many ways you can use your intellect and skills to help clients in disputes, without having to shoulder the burden of being the lead trial lawyer on a case.” Talmage Boston is a champion for alternative dispute resolution: “Take all of your energy and horsepower that will now not be used on the prospect of future jury trials and redirect them toward doing something that will be more beneficial to you, your family, friends, community, and for society. You are shifting toward a brighter future.”

Recognizing that it’s time to let go of certain aspects of a career doesn’t mean you have to retire. It’s not an “all or nothing” situation. I’ve often written of my aversion to retirement—it’s not for me. Instead, shift emphasis to those elements of your work that lift you up. As Talmage recaps it: “Pinpoint the things that deplete you—and stay away from them. And pinpoint the things that enhance you and your positive impact on others—and spend more time doing them.”

Other law school classmates expressed this viewpoint in spiritual terms. When the pressure is too intense, they believe G-d is sending us a message. Listen to that voice. As Bobby Payne put it, “G-d opens doors and closes them at the time of His choosing. He is always at work.” When we discover new talents, that is G-d’s way of opening a new door. When a door closes, “maybe He has opened that other door even wider now.”

Back to the athletes, I understand the door closes for them much younger, so it’s even harder. Lindsey Vonn was reaching for her dream of another Olympic gold medal when she had a heartbreaking crash. She posted: “Please don’t feel sad. The ride was worth the fall. When I close my eyes at night I don’t have regrets and the love I have for skiing remains. I am still looking forward to the moment when I can stand on the top of the mountain once more. And I will.”

Travis Kelce is also giving it another go, returning for his 14th season even after a difficult year with the Kansas City Chiefs. Perhaps he’s trying to go out on top. Perhaps he just can’t figure out when it’s time to hang up his jersey.

Whether you’re a trial lawyer or a professional athlete, there comes a time to hang up your jersey. I suggest seeking fulfillment in other ways. You’re now a role model. Young people look up to you. Use the wisdom you’ve gained from your mountaintop experiences to mentor and inspire the next generation. It will feel good, and you won’t get beat up in the courtroom or injured on that mountaintop.

Marvin E. Blum