I readily admit that I’m not a trained expert on the topic of parenting. However, from time to time, I have shared some tips from my own experience as a dad. The feedback is always affirming. People encourage me to keep the tips coming. So today, I’ll share a story about how Laurie and I gave our daughter Lizzy and her future husband Ira Savetsky a little parental “push” (well, maybe not so little) to get married. We knew they were a perfect match.
The story begins on March 22, 2007, in New York City. Lizzy was a singer studying music business at NYU. [Side note: Lizzy competed in an NYU talent contest which her classmate Stefani Germanotta won, and Lizzy placed second. Unable to win a college talent show, Lizzy abandoned the idea of a singing career. Soon thereafter, Stefani changed her name to Lady Gaga.] I came to New York for Lizzy’s performance at the renowned Knitting Factory. That night, I met some dozen or so young men vying for Lizzy’s affection and trying to improve their odds by buttering up her old man. After the show, she asked my opinion of the suitors, and hands down, my choice was Ira Savetsky—solid, steady, genuine. Lizzy’s response: “Ira? But he’s just a friend.” True, but he could become more. Lizzy acquiesced, and they began dating.
A bit later, Lizzy graduated and moved to Israel to study at Neve Yerushalayim. Ira moved to Philadelphia for medical school. As the year went on, Laurie and I were trying to entice Lizzy back to the US, specifically to Philadelphia. Laurie moved into action. She called the Dean of Admissions at The University of Pennsylvania, and the conversation went something like this: “You don’t know my daughter, but trust me, you’ll want to admit her to Penn for a master’s degree. I know it’s past the deadline and she hasn’t taken the GRE grad school admission test, but let me fill you in about Lizzy.” She proceeded to do just that. Lo and behold, Penn said yes. There’s nothing stronger than a persuasive (Jewish) mother.
Laurie then worked her magic on Lizzy, and the next thing you know, Lizzy’s at Penn getting a master’s degree in Reading, Writing, and Literacy with an emphasis on multicultural education. Now it was my turn to work some magic (with some important coaching from my mom Elsie).
We had recently “upgraded” Laurie’s wedding ring. I had sold Laurie’s prior diamond to the jeweler, until my mother admonished me: “Call the jeweler, buy the diamond back, and give Ira a call.”
The conversation went like this: “Ira, I happen to have a diamond that Laurie wore for the last 30 years. If it’s of any interest to you, we’d be delighted to give it to you.” Ira took the “hint,” responding: “If it brings us the kind of happiness you’ve had for the last 30 years, I’d be honored to accept it.” Right answer. Soon thereafter, Ira proposed to Lizzy at the Statue of Liberty.
I’m reminded of advice from Fort Worth educator Hazel Harvey Peace when she accepted the Multicultural Alliance Award: “Sometimes adults have to help young people make good decisions.” That certainly applies in parenting. I believe Lizzy and Ira were destined to marry even without our intervention (as we say in Yiddish, it was “beshert” – destiny). They’re a match made in heaven. But to aid the heavenly process, Laurie and I played the part of “Yente the Matchmaker” and nudged it along. We didn’t want to take any chances.
Marvin E. Blum
Marvin Blum’s daughter Lizzy and her future husband Ira Savetsky, on the night Marvin first met Ira and knew he was the man for his daughter.
