A TIGER 21 colleague in Denver waxed poetic when he shared that our best investments are the ones that pay “memory dividends.” As his TIGER chair Elizabeth Ledoux punctuated: “Trips, traditions, little moments—these are what bind our families and keep showing up in stories, connection, and legacy.” I recently had one of those “little moments,” a seemingly insignificant event that turned into a big lifelong memorable moment.
Our family gathered in Memphis, Tennessee for our great-niece Paige’s Bat Mitzvah. That, in and of itself, was a big moment. Paige was born 13 years ago almost three months premature. Weighing less than a pound and a half, she was the size of a small bird that would fit in the palm of your hand. Miraculously, Paige fought through every obstacle and is now a thriving and totally magnificent teenager. So Paige’s Bat Mitzvah was a very big moment, as she led us through a two-hour service (mostly in Hebrew) like a pro. But what was unexpected was a “little moment” the night before.
The day before, our 10-year-old granddaughter Juliet flew in alone from New York, as the rest of her family couldn’t join us. We are very proud that Juliet’s parents (our daughter Lizzy and son-in-law Ira) are raising their three kids in a home with strong observance of Jewish laws. It was our pleasure to provide strictly kosher food and accommodations within walking distance of the Temple Israel, as Juliet’s family does not ride in a car on the Sabbath. (In fact, we rented a house Elvis Presley built for his infamous physician, Dr. George “Nick” Nichopoulos which Elvis also regularly occupied, full of Elvis memorabilia and decor, down to the shag carpet.)
The Friday evening Shabbat dinner was a 15-minute drive away (too far to walk), so we drove there before sundown to visit, and then I left with Juliet at 7:15 so we would be back at Elvis’ house (and out of the car) for the 7:30 Shabbat candle lighting. Our son’s 6-year-old daughter Lucy from Austin (inseparable from her cousin Juliet) joined us. So, it was just Juliet, Lucy, and me.
The girls chatted non-stop in the car, and I loved hearing their girl-talk about school, fashion, and entertainment preferences. Then the “little moment” happened: the cousins (ages 10 and 6) took over preparing a Shabbat dinner for the three of us. Laurie had salmon ready for us, and the girls made a raw vegetable platter, a fruit tray, grape juice for the Kiddush blessing, challah for the Motzi blessing, and assorted cookies from Ricki’s, our favorite kosher bakery in Memphis. I’m no rabbi (though for years as I was growing up, I planned to become one), but the girls took over and didn’t even need my rabbinic skills. They led the ritual prayers, we shared our “rose and thorn” stories from the past week, and dined like royalty. (I have no pictures of the Shabbat dinner, as photography is not permitted on the Sabbath, but the vision is vividly preserved in my mind and heart.)
Here’s the takeaway: Stay on the lookout for little moments that will loom large in the family legacy tapestry your family is weaving.
Marvin E. Blum
Marvin Blum’s great niece Paige (left) and granddaughter Juliet celebrating the “big moment” of Paige’s Bat Mitzvah.
