Twelve years ago, our first grandchild Stella was born. It seems like yesterday Laurie and I were pacing nervously in the hall at New York’s Mt. Sinai Hospital, waiting to hear that first cry. Fast forward to November 10, 2024, and that little baby Stella became a Bat Mitzvah, the coming of age when a Jewish girl becomes a woman.
Jewish boys celebrate their Bar Mitzvah at age 13. But in traditional Jewish families, girls become a Bat Mitzvah, a daughter of the covenant, at age 12. The idea is that 12-year-old girls are at a maturity level comparable to 13-year-old boys (I might argue that girls hit that point long before age 12).
We celebrated Stella over the last weekend, kicking off with a Friday night dinner at New York’s Altneu Synagogue. As a very proud Zaidy (the Yiddish word for grandfather that my 6 grandkids call me), I had the privilege of speaking at the dinner. Since I’ve become so personal with you all in this Family Legacy Planning blog, I’ll share with you what I had to say.
To my dear granddaughter Stella, the oldest of our 6 grandkids:
I want to talk to you about trees. You know I love trees and nature. Trees are significant in Judaism. Our Torah is called Etz Chaim, a tree of life, and also a tree of knowledge. But as we celebrate you becoming a Bat Mitzvah, I want to tell you about a different tree — a family tree. The Torah teaches that parents are the trunk of a tree and children are the branches. It also teaches that all future generations are embedded in that tree within their parents, so the tree represents a family’s past, present, and future.
I want to talk about a particular family tree that starts with your ancestors, my grandparents, Meyer & Pauline Oberstein, and goes down l’dor vador, from generation to generation. Stella, you are part of a family tree that has very deep roots. Those roots will keep you secure and grounded when the winds of adversity blow your way. You come from a long line of very strong women.
I want to start with the amazing and strong woman in the first generation in that family tree, my grandmother Pauline, your great great grandmother. Pauline and her family came to America from Ukraine where her family was persecuted because they were Jewish. She arrived in Ellis Island with nothing but her commitment to their Jewish values, joining her brother Joe in Montgomery, Alabama, a place where it wasn’t easy to be religious. Like Abraham and Sarah, they were really alone in their observance, pioneers of Judaism in a new land, as described in your Torah portion, Lech Lecha.
But Mama Pauline created an observant Jewish home. She lit Shabbos candles every week, strictly observed kashrut and Shabbat, and remained deeply committed to Jewish values. She was actively involved in their synagogue and establishing a Jewish community deep in the heart of Dixie. Her parents lived with her, also clinging to their Judaism. Her father, our Zaidy, never ate meat in America because he didn’t trust it to be kosher. Mama Pauline only served him fresh vegetables (which she pronounced “vege-TABLES”) because he mistrusted the kashrut of the canning process. When he died, Pauline had his body prepared at home and the funeral was in their living room. She didn’t want Zaidy’s body to ever enter a non-Jewish funeral home.
The second generation of matriarchs is my mother Elsie, your great grandmother whom you call Bobbie, the same name she called her grandmother, Pauline’s mother Bobbie Leah. Bobbie is also a light unto the world. She is the dynamic force behind our shul in Fort Worth, Texas. Her Hebrew name is Sora Elke, like our matriarch Sarah. Also like our matriarch Sarah, Bobbie leads the way in creating a place for those seeking G-d to come and worship. My mother has devoted her life to strengthening our shul and preserving Jewish values in Fort Worth, Texas, far from the Old Country of her parents.
The next generation is me, along with my beloved bride of 45 years, your Mimi. You know very well how strong Mimi is and what a rock she is in our family.
Next comes your mother, Elizabeth Pauline, named after our matriarch Pauline. Both are named Pesha Ita, and like you, both are lights unto the world. We all know what a power house your mother is, giving her all to support Israel and fight antisemitism. She is a role model of leadership, strength, and courage.
This brings us to generation five. Stella, this is significant: you are the FIRST member of generation five in our family tree, a generation that will someday have more than 100 Jewish cousins in it, with all the Obersteins in our family. But Stella, you are the FIRST. You lead the way.
Stella, your very birth as a little four pound bundle of joy was a miracle, a symbol that our family is growing and thriving, the start of a new rung on our family tree. As your dad’s Unkie said, your birth signifies that “We beat Hitler!” You were made for this moment. And you’re growing into such a dynamic role model, just like your matriarch ancestors Pauline, Elsie, Laurie, and Lizzy.
Every week, I learn from your Torah Corner as you explain the week’s parsha in a way like no one else can do. I once filled in for you as the substitute teacher, and I can tell you that it’s a lot harder than it looks. I watched you interview Holocaust survivors in Israel, where you showed so much love and compassion. And I saw how much you care about our people as we toured Yad Vashem and other holy sites in Jerusalem. You have a gift—a gift of connecting with people and bringing light and Jewish values to the world.
My prayer for you is that you grow up strong and courageous, marry the right guy like your mom did, raise a family who carries on the heritage of our ancestors, and that you live a life of purpose, meaning, and fulfillment.
Shine your light, baby!
With all my love,
Your Zaidy
Sharing this with you, I feel so full of love and gratitude. This weekend was a major link in the Blum Family Legacy chain. Here’s wishing you meaningful moments and milestone memories in your own family legacy journey.
Marvin & Laurie Blum make memories that will last forever at the Bat Mitzvah of their granddaughter Stella.
