Here we are on Election Day with a race that’s too close to call. Even after the outcome is known, so much uncertainty lies ahead. How do we deal with the unknowns? Some are wired to see a half-full glass. Good for them. However, for me and most in my network, the tendency is to see the glass half empty. My wonderfully positive wife is helping me learn to shift from “worst case” to “best case” thinking.
Laurie and I recently spent a glorious evening dining with TIGER 21 colleagues. As usual, the conversation was thought-provoking, stimulated by a revelation earlier that day at a TIGER 21 meeting. At the meeting, a hugely successful entrepreneur gave his “Portfolio Defense” and confessed that he still wakes up during the night and worries about his business. Although he’s ten times more successful than he ever imagined, worrying is a habit that is hard to break.
I was visiting with other TIGER 21 members about this and discovered that all of us shared that same mental wiring. We all wake up during the night, the brain activates, and the worry starts. It’s comforting to know I am not alone.
In my recent post, “On Turning 70,” I shared that, looking back on those 70 years, my main regret is all the time I wasted worrying about things that never ended up happening. I announced that my goal going forward is to worry less—easier said than done. But I have something (or rather, someone) going for me to help me in this effort—a very wise and supportive wife of 45 years.
Here’s Laurie’s good counsel to me: when presented with a scenario, instead of always assuming the “worst case” outcome, force your brain to imagine a “best case” outcome. That’s a heavy lift for me, given the natural wiring in my brain and my almost 50 years of lawyering. It’s my job to envision all the “what if’s” that can go wrong and plan ahead for them. But Laurie isn’t letting me off the hook that easy. You have to work at envisioning an ideal outcome. After all, a bright outcome is more likely than a dark one. That’s certainly been the case over the years, as all those things I wasted time and energy worrying about never ended up happening.
So now when I wake up concerned about something, Laurie advises me to imagine the best case outcome. Redirect your thoughts and attach your mind to that best case.
Laurie explained some research that shows how worrying triggers stress and fear, releasing hormones as if what you fear might happen has actually occurred. By shifting your mind to a positive outcome, your energy goes where your thoughts tell it to go. Imagining the best case scenario, you can actually feel the relief and joy that scenario would produce. You’ll begin to feel that relief and joy right now.
I’ve tried it, and it works. It’s not yet natural to me, so I have to work at it. But if you’re wired like me, I highly recommend trying to think “best case” instead of “worst case.”
When I do slip into imagining the worst, Laurie’s provided me with a mantra to repeat in my head: “It’s solvable. If it happens, we will figure it out.” That helps too. And if it doesn’t, I can always wake up Laurie for a middle-of-the-night counseling session. I’m a very lucky guy.
Marvin and Laurie Blum at a dinner party with TIGER 21 colleagues who, like Marvin, find it easier to embrace a “worst case” rather than “best case” scenario. We all need Laurie's wise counsel.