President Biden’s painful exit from his reelection campaign, coupled with my 70th birthday, got me thinking about how to age with dignity. What lessons can we learn so that, as we approach the final chapter, we can go out on top? I identified many role models who continued to hit home runs in their final innings. For today’s post, I narrowed it to a diverse trio: Lou Barnett (patriarch of the Fort Worth Jewish community), Henry Kissinger, and Dolly Parton.
I’ll start closest to home with Lou Barnett, who made it past 100 before he left us. When he was still a young 94, I had the privilege of interviewing him on May 19, 2013. He may be gone physically, but he lives on through the wisdom he imparted to me that day. When I asked for his reflections, Lou responded with 18 tips. In Hebrew, the letters that signify 18 are chet (8) and yud (10), spelling chai, the Hebrew word for “life.” (“To life, to life, L’chaim!”) How appropriate that Lou’s stream of consciousness happened to provide 18 tips for living a beautiful life.
Click on the link at the bottom of the post to read the entire list, but here are a few highlights:
• Family, first and foremost. Family is by far the most important thing in the world.
• Find a hobby. Get away from the cell phone and disconnect from the world.
• Laugh at yourself. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
• Live! Don’t live like you’re coming back. It’s later than you think.
• Go see your grandkids often and be a part of their lives.
• Don’t carry a grudge. Let it go.
Like Lou Barnett, Former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger also made it to 100 with grace and purpose till his final days. In his essay on Kissinger, Eric Schmidt (former CEO of Google) explained the key: “How did Henry make it to 100? He never retired. Until shortly before his death, he was working as hard as he did when he was 70. From the moment he woke up, he was thinking, taking joy in following a new idea, a new strategy, a new challenge. He never lost his deep commitment to making the world safer and more prosperous” (The Wall Street Journal, December 2, 2023).
Harvard professor Arthur Brooks elaborates on Kissinger’s formula for successful aging. Brooks credits Kissinger with transforming into a senior role, becoming an “eminence” who wasn’t expected to “have the rigor and the focus and the energy to be putting in the grinding work of national and international governance… Nobody wanted to elect Kissinger as president of the United States; people just wanted his opinion on the issues of the day” (“The Essence of Retiring Well,” The Atlantic, July 5, 2024).
And finally, let’s hear it for country music legend Dolly Parton, a rockstar role model at age 78 who “shows no signs of letting up.” In “Dolly Parton on How She Succeeds in Business,” Deena Shanker reveals: “Dolly Parton is a live performer, recording artist, songwriter, novelist, philanthropist, Netflix producer, theme-park operator, and hotelier, just to name a handful of her business ventures. She sells everything from dog accessories to fragrances and even muffin mixes. How does she keep up the momentum? ‘I work my butt off,’ she says.”
Parton also believes you have to be present to win. She challenges the post-COVID world of remote working. “In an age where ‘quiet quitting’ has pervaded workplaces across the US and hustle culture is being criticized by the rising number of Gen-Zers shuffling into the office (or Zoom rooms), Parton works for her success, way past 9 to 5.”
So, for those like me who seek guidance on how to remain relevant till the end, let’s learn from Lou Barnett, Henry Kissinger, and Dolly Parton. In doing so, Arthur Brooks wisely admonishes us of the need to adjust to the role that best suits us, which changes over time. Brooks suggests that role may be more as a teacher than an innovator. Or, as my esteemed colleague Matt Wesley so powerfully describes—there comes a time when you need to move from being quarterback to being coach.
Henry Kissinger stayed on top of his game all the way to 100.
