Happy 2023! Thanks for going with me on this weekly journey of wisdom as I now start year three of my Family Legacy Planning blog. Last week, I put a wrap on 2022 by encouraging us to look back to see how far we’ve come from where we started. Observing that journey can inspire us to keep reaching for our full potential as we now embark on a new year.
My focus last week was on the challenge of remining physically fit as time passes. Today. I want to reflect on how the passage of time can improve our mental and emotional fitness. As Melissa Manchester sings in “Come in From the Rain,” “Time has made us older and wiser. I know I am.”
The two below photos show me with my law school buddies (the “Canoe Brothers,” as described in this May 22, 2022 post.) The “then” photo was on a trip to Port Aransas to celebrate graduating UT law school. Our bodies were fit but so were our minds. Our brains worked quickly with what Arthur Brooks describes as “fluid intelligence.” We had instant recall and could spit out calculations and thoughts quickly with precision. That sharp, razor fast intellect comes in handy in starting a legal career.
However, in his recent book Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life, Brooks explains a transition that occurs in our brains as we age. After about age 55, our brains work slower but there’s an improvement in our “crystallized intelligence.” We replace fluid intelligence with the ability to connect dots and see big picture patterns. This skill enables us to make better decisions and give better advice because it is seasoned with experience.
Clients often ask me to provide “gray-haired wisdom” based on my 44 years of real-life lawyering. Sharing guidance informed by my observations over the years may be even more meaningful to them than the lightening-fast reasoning of youth. The Canoe Brothers of the recent canoe trip photo have a different kind of intelligence than the guys in the Port Aransas photo, but it’s a kind of brain power that carries more wisdom.
Another shift that occurs over the passage of time involves our emotional fitness. Whereas “young Marvin” had a wish-list of things he hoped to buy one day, the “mature Marvin” has a different list. I have replaced my desire for things with a desire for relationships. My focus is now on having meaningful connection with thoughtful and thought-provoking people. I achieve that best by becoming part of stimulating communities, such as the Canoe Brothers, colleagues at work, civic groups, and a peer group like TIGER 21. According to Dr. Mark Hyman, “The power of community to create health is far greater than any physician, clinic, or hospital. Science now shows us that a sense of community is correlated to longer, healthier, and happier lives.”
Hyman continues with this advice: “If you want to build a community, volunteering, joining a class, and prioritizing time with loved ones are all ways to strengthen your social bonds and support your health in the process. Get involved in things you care about and your community connections will naturally fall into place.”
As we first look back to our early years and then look ahead to our tomorrows, let’s celebrate the opportunities that the future offers us—opportunities to gain wisdom, create connection with meaningful communities, and achieve not only stronger physical fitness but also stronger mental and emotional fitness.
Marvin E. Blum
Marvin Blum with the “Canoe Brothers” of then and now, a brotherhood bond strengthened mentally and emotionally by the passage of time. Left: Blum in upper right of pyramid, celebrating law school graduation. Right: Blum in center of front row, on a canoe trip with older and wiser law school buddies.